Day 2



Work,
Check on babe,
Facebook,
Shares day 1,
Work,
Mentally put together pieces for an outfit for no reason,
Shares day 1 again,
Checks Instagram,
Back to work,
Ok Chalina, FOCUS!!!!!
Sheesh! I see where Bennie (my son), gets it from. I am ALWAYS all over the place! It gives me anxiety.  It gotta be because I haven’t figured out how to channel and pace my ideas. I haven’t figured out a way that works for me.
You ever feel like you want to do something, and you expect overnight results????????? Just me, ohhh ok (side-eye) LOL.  I want to learn, produce and be an instant success. The nerve right? Anyhow, the majority of my career planning isn’t based on anything I do at the moment…*waves and smiles* Hello corporate America! 
To be clear that is not shade in any way. The environments, cities I’ve been in, and people I’ve learned to love after work relationships were over, have helped shape me indefinitely. Corporate America came into my life at a time where I almost gave up….I mean I was so far into my head I was on my way to glory….
Suicide people, I attempted suicide. *queues God Blocked It* With that said,  I will forever be grateful for being able to pay my bills because there were times I didn't have two nickels to rub together, and meeting people I may not have met otherwise.
Man, I literally almost shouted….imma just cry instead because I’m at work. Have you ever looked back on a situation and at the time, you couldn’t see past it? *Deep sighs* He is so gracious and merciful!
I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable, so that I can be transparent as possible, and while it's scary....it's also liberating. Truth is, I don’t quite know Chalina, career wise.
A wise woman with dimples to die for, (shout-out to Mary Todd Allen) once told me to create a path. Start at where I want to end, and move backwards. This will give me an idea of the steps I’ll need to take.
Y’all know I didn’t do it right? But I should have! LOL I told you I am a procrastinator! Cut me some slack!
Write the vision and make it plain, I know God I'm listening. Honestly the main vision I’ve had was to never be poor again. I don’t need anyone’s pity, there's something I want you to understand. I’ve always had one leg waist deep into poverty, and the other at the bottom of middle class. I’ll explain more in detail at another time.
Seeing "middle class" didn't stop me from thinking with a poor mentality. You know robbing Peter to pay Paul? The crazy thing is, I probably could have managed my train of thought if I wasn't such a know it all.  Taking accountability is important.
Anyhow, for a while now I’ve battled with being comparable to seemingly more educated people, not fully understanding that I’m incomparable for a reason.
Writing...(writing what I want) is my first love. Being fashionably conscious, and learning how to merge the two, is the end goal. I want to untraditionally incorporate one with the other so that they sustain us in and all-encompassing manner for the long term.
The question now, is where do I go from here?
Mrs. Mary, I’m working on it.
To be continued......
instagram.com/lenathelazynatural
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