I know I've been on a hiatus, but lemme explain...
I was blogging on the 5th of June, doing a recap so to speak, of recent events and I noticed something....
I was ranting and raving about something that in the grand scheme of things didn't matter.
I mean I wrote almost an entire post, about my run in with a racist at the farmers market. The bottom line is, she tried it, but I still carried myself respectfully. At the end of the day, that is all that mattered to me. I could still go home safely to my family. People like that aren't going anywhere, but I had the choice to entertain it or rise above it, and I chose the latter.
So I deleted it. I am in a space where I try my best to exercise rational and positive thinking. I am not always successful and sometimes a quick vent helps, but overall I've been doing great. I absolutely can NOT tolerate bad energy and negativity.
Speaking personally, I've battled depression and I can not allow minute things to invade nor consume my mental space.
The kid is gone for the entire summer!!!!!!
This is literally the first time I've been without him for an entire summer *tears*
I miss him so much.
Everyone keeps asking me what am I going to do, I'm talking back using my hands dramatically like, "Gurrrrrllllll live my best life!!!!!"
When really I'm thinking, get up 30 minutes later for work and not cook til he gets back.
I mean let's be real, while I've contemplated an array of options, truthfully I am a chill person. I may finally take a Zumba class or something but that's about it.
I mean gas is still high OK?!
Anywho I'll say it again.
Don't steal my hashtag. LOL
Although I'll hop a flight real quick if I have to, so far, I am enjoying this time without him. Moms we need that. Selfcare is everything. Let's be clear about a few things regarding self care.....
1. Do what YOU like to do!
2. Self care does NOT mean you have to spend money!
The premise of self care is to find a space where you can relax, release mental stress, be at peace, find solace...etc
Self care for me is defined as a good nap.
My Bennie Ben, I miss him, but I also miss sleeping without a kid standing over me asking if I'm asleep. LOL
Oh and totally random........
Why was I craving corndogs and waffle cones???
PMS is something I tell you.
Before I go I wanted to send a rest in Heaven to one of my favorite grandmas of all time.
She wasn't my grandma, but the love was real. If she had to go to the hospital, she always bought a pitcher of ice back for me. She gave me a place to lay my head when I was kicked out of my house. She introduced me to ground turkey, and cheesecake. I never knew what Poke salad was before I met her. She made sure EVERYONE was straight ALL the time! She didn't tolerate disrespect or a dirty house. She got me hooked on a certain type of peppermints from family dollar, so much so I use to buy her a bag each time I bought one for myself. After relationships dissipated I always checked in on her to make sure she was good.....until I didn't, smh. She passed a month after her birthday. I will forever hold a place for you in my heart. Thank you for loving everyone so unconditionally. You were the true representation of AGAPE love. Good bye Ms. BJ, until we meet again my dear.