I knew that I'd get into trouble,
But I did it anyway.

Without permission, I went home with a white kid in my 5th grade class.


Why yes, yes it was.

She was my friend and her life seemed perfect.
Mine not so much.
Single mom with 5 kids in a tiny house.
Being the oldest I was the designated baby sitter.
To top it off, my mom struggled with her own demons during that time.
And I was too young to understand,
Or care.

So I did it.
Our moms had no clue.
I got on her bus, told the bus driver my mom said I could ride home with my friend.
It was finally happening, I was going to experience the "greener grass" life.
When I walked into their home, 
The crap hit the a tight lipped kinda way.

Her mom was pissed,
But still managed to be kind to me,
She sent us to her daughters room and prepared some after school snacks.

When it was time to eat she asked for my mom's number.

I remember thinking ohhhhh shit she's gonna tell.
Then instantly, I stopped caring. I wanted to enjoy every moment while I had the chance.

Their home was amazing,
It was huge!
Everything was in its place.
No kids running a muck,
No pink walls........we had pink walls....or pink carpet...either way TOO much freaking pink,
Cable television

We played for what felt like hours!
I was having a great time.
Until she told me she was about to take me home.

I almost crapped my pants.

Just like that my experience of "the perfect" life was over.

And I will neither confirm nor deny that I almost went to glory when I got home.

The End.

Well not quite....

During this quarantine I've been watching a show called Little Fires Everywhere.

I highly recommend it.

I was triggered seeing Pearl become so intrigued with the life of Lexie Richardson.

It reminded me of my 10 year old self wishing everything about my life was different.

Thankfully the 36 year old me knows better.

And actually I'm 35, so there's that.

Stupid quarantine.




  1. Great post! I can relate����

    1. Thank you so much for reading! I love my mom but as a kid there was no way to fully understand what parenting encompassed. Again thank you😘😘


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