I was sitting on the couch,

Minding my ugly business,

Because if I am being honest I look a HOT MESS,

Then it happens.

My uterus begins to crotchet a blanket,
Or a scarf,
A sweater,

Ion know WHAT it was working up,

All I know is it that hurt like hell,
for 47 seconds then it went away.

I'm talking to myself like..

"Bruh what are you doing, it's only the 3rd."

I am soooooo glad we are quarantined!!!!!

Phoebe pops up at like 2:47 in the afternoon like...

"Oh hey girl, it's just me."

Then proceeds to torture me!


She starts playing Knuck If You Buck in my lady parts.

My lower back like,

"Yea we knucking and bucking and ready to fight!"

Then my right butt cheek......

"I betcha imma throw them thangs, so haters best to think twice!"

Then here comes my damn leg....

"See me I ain't nothing nice..."

Bih I know!

Now here I am with a Snapple bottle filled with hot water against my butt,

Because I don't know where my heating pad is.

Looking dumb.

The end.




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